Tuesday, September 22, 2015

"Bring your neighbor a cake"

We are living in a most interesting age.  Never, in all of humanity, have we been as technologically advanced as we are now.  We have an International Space Station, we can Facetime with anyone, anywhere, at any time.  We can transmit millions (even billions) of dollars from one location to another instantly.  Remember that song you heard the other day and absolutely fell in love with?  Search for it, buy it, download it, and in 2 minutes, probably less, you now own it-forever!  The next generation will wonder what a CD, a mix tape, a Filofax, a floppy disc, or an 8-track was. 

Yet, we are living in a paradox.  All of this technology is astounding in the areas of medicine and healthcare, for example.  As a race will we ever have to worry again about the black plague or scarlet fever? However, what has this constant connectivity done to our thought process, our expectations of each other and of life in general?  What has it done to our souls?  We only need to logon to Facebook to read captions such as “what happens next will blow your mind!” or “This [man’s, woman’s, father’s, mother’s, daughter’s] reaction will leave you speechless!”  It’s like we want the cupcake and only want to eat the icing, every single time.  We want the best of the best, the rawest of emotions, and the very core of a feeling.  We want it in high resolution, with a deeply moving soundtrack and perfect lighting.  We want it to be quickly downloadable and shareable. 

Will this generation know the joy of receiving a hand written letter from a dear friend or relative? Will they experience the feelings that come from reading their handwriting and sensing the emotions in their penmanship?   How about the unexpected “long distance” call from a faraway loved one, the surprise at hearing their voice, not knowing who may be calling during those days before caller ID.  For as much as we’ve advanced, I feel we’ve lost some of life’s simplest pleasures, the ones that elicit genuine emotion.

Sure, we’re connected on Facebook, Insatgram, Twitter and Snapchat, but are we really?  Does my “liking” the picture of your new couch convey the same sentiment as my paying you a visit and commenting on what a wonderful choice you made, how well it goes with your home?  When was the last time you went over a friend’s house for coffee or to a play a board game, remember those?  The countless hours of our youth spent calculating how exactly could we buy Park Place.

Interestingly enough, there is a resurgence of all things antique and vintage.  Everything old is new again.  We are longing for genuineness in our lives, items with a sense of history.  How many Great Gatsby parties have you heard of recently?  We want to relive those exuberant days of yore.  We’re yearning for something tactile to make us feel less computerized, less predictable, and less robotic.

Recently, my husband and I moved into a new home, our very first home which (through great sacrifice) we purchased together.  We live in a rural area of South Florida and, I’ll be honest, we were worried as to how the neighborhood would welcome the new gay couple on the block.  I’ll tell you what they did.  Our neighbors on one side, an elderly American couple, brought us a beautiful planted orchid a week after we moved in.  Upon delivering it, they said “Welcome to the neighborhood, we hope this helps make your house a home.”   Our front door neighbor, the retired soldier from Alabama and his restaurant-owner wife, brought us her famous coconut-rum cake along with mangoes and avocados from their back yard.  Since then, we’ve all continued to share homemade treats with one another, a bottle of guava preserves made from guavas on my family’s farm in exchange for a couple jars of mango butter and strawberry jam.  It may sound very “Peyton Place” but what it actually is, is real.  These individuals took the time out of their busy lives to think of us, to make something with their own hands and share it with us.  It involved zero technology.  There was not one emoji to be found. 

Am I guilty of succumbing to technology’s embrace? Absolutely.  However, I try to achieve a balance.  I mainly listen to public radio and do not watch much TV.  We only recently got cable, and we opted for the most basic package, about 70 channels total.  I get my news from the radio when the BBC announces their hourly updates.  My husband and I anxiously await Saturday’s broadcast of Prairie Home Companion and challenge each other by playing along to “Says You” after that.  I bake a loaf of banana bread every Sunday.  I make my own pasta.  There is a sense of comfort that can only be achieved with these tasks.


So, the next time your friend updates their status to inform you of their latest accomplishment, surprise them with a visit and something homemade.  Granted, it takes more time and effort.  However, I’d like to think that when I’m old and gray (although the gray is well underway already) that those are the moments I’ll look back on.  You won’t be able to hold on to the 73 “likes” you received on your Facebook picture, but that handwritten card you received that, that you will be able to clutch close to your heart forever. 

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